Eyes Wide Open
In writing a journal it would be easier to start from the beginning, if only we knew where the beginning was or at least if we understood where it belongs.
To begin this journal I could start from today, but certainly today is not the beginning. I am almost paralyzed with the fear of starting if I can’t explain this is not the beginning. A journal is like a journey with a beginning and an end, but deeply and intimately affected by the travellers immediate past and the desires of their hopeful future.
But, a journal is not like a journey in that it really doesn’t have a destination. Maybe it is not right for a pilot, whose life is determined by destinations, to keep a journal with no place to go. That is the dilemma of time; the paradox of past, present and future. My journal should be in the present having come from the past and heading somewhere in the future. I wish I knew where I was going, but at least I know where I have been.
Life is so unlike flying. In flying I always know where I am going. I don’t necessarily know where I am, or how to get back to where I started, but I always know where I am going. I have said many times that I have never truly been lost. How could I be lost if I know where I am going? Have you been there? Have you ever flown, shrouded in mist and surrounded by thunderstorms, low over a rainforest that goes on as far as the eye can see, while trying to get to a distant clearing in the forest represented by an imaginary place in your mind. No matter how ethereal that place seems you always know that it does indeed exist and that you will find your designated clearing in the forest if you keep your eyes wide open.
Life’s destinations, however, are not so certain and that is what makes a daily journal so interesting. There is no assured outcome. We record what we see and predict what we hope or believe will happen and then decisions and events shape the result. The author’s credo is to record the journey as best as we can and to safely land where we may.
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